International Gutterpunking Congress

José A. Ruiz 17/02/2020 280
Coronavirus calculations, Barcelona without Mobile World Congress and fines for honking

Jose: Welcome to Layetania Today, the only Tabarnese and Layetan TV News show Aina Bellpuig and Aitor Setiraembarrena accompany me as always.

Aina: Dramatically increases the number of Chinese citizens infected by the coronavirus. After changing the method of calculation, the Beijing authorities report that suddenly there are fourteen thousand eight hundred and forty new cases. Apparently now the calculations are made by the same members of the ANC who counted the wounded on October 1.
Aitor: And without leaving the coronavirus, Thailand has responded to the European Union that it's not necessary to wait eighteen months to have a vaccine, since they already have one that is in the testing phase. However, the European medical authorities don't trust it because they believe that this vaccine is "from the Chinese".
Aina: Following the statements of the mayor of Vic Anna Erra, in which she affirms that the Catalans have differential physical traits, the independence group has asked her to describe what traits the Spaniards have, in order to identify them. The mayor of JxCat has kindly collaborated and described an ezsoez being, left over, lean, not very tall, no very handsome, with glasses, bald in front, gray behind and piping shrill voice. With his description an illustrator has developed a robot portrait that bears a strong resemblance to Quim Torra.
Aitor: And without leaving the PDECAT, Laura Borrás affirms that the investigations to which she is being subjected for corruption have no justification, that the awarding of contracts to a drug dealer is not that much, that everything happens because they are bullying her because she is an independentist.
Aina: The cancellation of the Mobile World Congress has caused several related events to be postponed until 2021, among them are the presentation of new smartphones, the latest advances in wearable technology, the new 5G services and the last taxi and subway strikes that have already been rescheduled by February 2021.
Jose: Well, that's not all, friends, because new information related to MWC has just arrived. According to a statement that has just been made public, to alleviate the serious economic effects of the cancellation of this world congress, the city hall of Ada Colau has launched a plan that will be held on the same dates The International Gutterpunking Congress, whose members they have already occupied the facilities of the Fira de Barcelona and have turned them into social premises. This international congress will feature two days of exhibition of products of the most prestigious brands in the world, all brought from China in suspicious containers and presented to the public by Barceloneta street vendors. The exhibitors affirm that after the congress they don't intend to leave the premises without being evicted by force, which is why Mayor Colau has pledged to send them the police to beat them,but with a gender perspective.
Aina: After three months of daily cuts on Meridiana Avenue by the independentistas, the urban police of Barcelona has finally taken action on the matter and has put the first fine .. to a driver for honking in the cuts.
Aitor: If Ada Colau City Council decides to maintain the current criteria, it's expected that in the next burning of containers by Surimi Democratic there may be arrests ... of those neighbors who complain about the heat of the flames.
Jose: And that's it for now. See you in a new edition of Layetania Today. And don't forget that you can keep yourself informed on the web