Jose: Welcome to Layetania Today, the news that makes more sense than reality itself! Aina Bellpuig and Aitor Setiraembarrena are with me.
Aina: The pilot of the Air Canada plane that made an emergency landing in Madrid this past week has received a fine from the city hall of the capital for five hours burning fuel over a low emission area. In addition, environmental activist Greta Thumberg has sent the pilot a selfie in which he drills her eyes, as if telling him: "how dare you!"
Aitor: In the first session of the legislature, the nationalist leader Gabriél Rufián has proclaimed that the Catalans have no King, and that we also don't have God or master, and that we are all tall and blond and we are stronger.
Aina: Junts per Cat and Esquerra Republicana have finally reached a point of agreement for the upcoming elections. "We must make another referendum of self-determination because two of before are not worth it, and the prisoners, the escapees and the hits to the voters who believed that thas was for real have not been worth anything". Taking advantage of this new understanding, they announce that they'll return to the elections together under the name JuntsPerSiDeCas.
Aitor: The Regional Minister of Culture of the Generalitat Mariàngela Vilallonga has said and written several times that the current Sardana represents 'the Catalan race'. Apparently nobody has told her that the sardana was invented by José Ventura Casas, Andalusian from Jaén. Curious that the Consellera go 'so low of culture'.
Aina: The constitutional court has recognized this week the right of prisoners to grant interviews even if they are not called Oriol Junqueras. Until now, to be a prisoner and give interviews, a coup attempt and a Catalan surname were necessary. From now on all the criminal inmates will have the same right and to qualify for it they will only have to ask for time to use the press room in the prisons that have it, which are: Lledoners. Yes, Junqueras prison.
Aitor: Concern in the technology sector regarding the cancellation of Mobile World Congress. The organizers of the event have declared that after years of enduring transport strikes and "yellow fever" they no longer have the strength for the coronavirus.
Jose: Excuse me, partners, but we have one last hour. I'm informed that the head of the government cabinet, Iván Redondo, has just been admitted to the Tirón Clinic due to a cervical injury. According to the first medical report, the injury may have been caused by a strong nod when reverencing to King of Catalonia King Torra, first of his name. Although Redondo initially didn't show any discomfort, a few hours ago he suffered a faint and his admission was recommended.
Aitor: Or in other words .. 'It has fallen Redondo'.
Aina: Basque archaeologists have confessed this week before the judge to have manipulated archaeological remains to make believe that the birth of Christianity began eight hundred years earlier than previously thought and that Basque was already spoken in those days.
Aitor: Despite the confession, the president of the Nova Historia Catalana Institute, Jordi Bilbeny, maintains that the son of God was Basque. And to prove it, he has spread the recording of a conversation between Jesus of Nazareth and God our Lord, found in a pendrive of the 1st century, which we reproduce exclusively.
- "Aita" why you abandoned me!.. Jesus, "fill meu", I'll always be at "teu costat"!
Jose: And that's it for now. See you in a new edition of Layetania Today. And don't forget that you can keep informed on the web ondalayetana.es